Best Christmas EVER! Season 2 (Part One)

Let's start with some background.

Last November, 2008, I told Josh that I wanted the Christmas season to be more magical. I wanted to revel in the holiday and all the glittery, cheery moments it had to offer. The previous few Christmases had come and gone with barely a blip on the radar.

As I mentioned in the Fourth of July post, there are times where the sting of my parents divorce echoes into the present. Christmas is one of those times. As a kid we had the consistency and joy of yearly traditions. We ALWAYS had Christmas Eve at Uncle Skip's house. He'd fix an amazing prime rib, the adults would play pictionary, I'd hang with my cousins. We'd read the nativity story from the Bible and open presents. Back home Mindi and I would sleep on the sleeper sofa in the living room, hoping to catch Santa, and wake to now full stockings and even more colorful packages under the tree. After opening presents and having breakfast it was off to Grandma Rossing's house to see the other side of the family, dine on more good eats and enjoy the warmth of a full house and family.

I still enjoy those memories, but I've had a bit of a time transitioning into Christmas as an adult. As a kid, Christmas was what your parents made for you. As a kid, you just went where your parent's decided. They'd arrange the trip to the Christmas Tree farm, the drives through well-decorated neighborhoods, they handled all the shopping and driving and made arrangements for when to hold gatherings. It helps too that those lovely Christmases are cleansed with the sheen of aged memory.

As an adult you sort of have to figure it out for yourself. I now have to walk the minefield of the giftgiving traps (Are we exchanging presents? Maybe we should draw names? Why did they give gifts when we decided not to give gifts, it makes us look bad). Christmas delights don't plan themselves and drop into your lap like they did as a kid. I ached from the lack of Christmas traditions, and the comfort of walking through familiar routines in this time of celebration.

I don't even remember the specifics of Christmas 2007. I have a vague memory of Josh trying to cheer me up, taking me around to try and find Christmas lights in really crappy snowy weather, following a family gathering. He looked confused by my tears after what had been a wonderful, and enjoyable gathering, and I couldn't voice where they were coming from. I just remember this lingering sense of... of... disappointment? That's not quite it. A sense that I was craving something I couldn't quite name, or expecting something, and it wasn't there.

I had my own family now. My own home. My own place for stability and tradition. I'd decorated for Christmas. Those desires the little girl in me remembered were simply not fulfilled. I'd had a wonderful time, gathering with my family, but something was missing. Christmas just wasn't quite as sparkly as it was when I was a kid.

Which is why, last year, Christmas 2008, I resolved to have "The Best Christmas EVER!" Because, that kid inside, now has this outer adult who needs to step up to the plate to create new traditions and put the sparkle back on this amazing season where we get to celebrate the birth of our Jesus Christ and revel in time spent with friends and family. I didn't blog much regarding my expectations, because I wasn't sure how the endeavor would pan out. It turned out to be everything I wanted and MORE! I didn't follow up with posts about the amazing things we were doing either, because I just wanted to enjoy it, savor it, let it all melt in. I gave that inner girl child what she was looking for, healed old wounds, and am now seriously PSYCHED for "BCE Season 2!"

Stay tuned for more of "The Best Christmas EVER!"